Tune: it’s a great day to be alive I got my socks drying in the microwave Hair on my back i dont plan to shave I got the house to myself while the wifes away I’ll be rockin all night Yeah i think i’ll drink me an ice cold brew Lounge in my boxers like..
Well, lordy, mercy, i’s in a mess My wife run off with my tv set Didn’t bother me none that she had to go ‘cept i’s gonna miss all my tv shows So i looked up to heaven, got down on my knees An’ i cried, “dear lord, will you help me, please?” “i need..
Let’s get jiggy with it Uh oh My front won’t crank I owe the bank I’m gonna pay em back but right now i can’t My record went gold half a million sold My wallet was fat But i spent all that (all that) Just when i bought Things i couldn’t afford Now uncle sam’s..
She cooks with lard Loves hot food bars A quart of sweet tea And fried pork skins Can’t get enough Eat still she’s stuffed Goes to the bathroom And then she comes back again She thinks she looks just like madonna When she runs her greasy fingers through her bleached blonde hair Most times she’ll..
A mason jar full of shine, a cd of leann rhimes Is what i bought for our anniversary tonight Now here i stand with my petunias in hand And you’ve got a headache again I hit a yard sale, cut my toenails Trimmed my nose hairs just right I thought you’d be impressed by my..
Cledus at the kitchen table Short of breath, legally disabled Wife walks in, she’s so surprised Can’t believe i’m still alive I say i’m hungry for biscuits and gravy That patty melt that you always made me But i can’t eat that anymore They say grease kills, tastes good to me Day in, day out,..
I told you i’d leave some flares on In case you ever wanted to find my home Ya frowned and said well the darn law should arrest ya Now this old house keeps falling apart So i went down the local walmart And bought this coleman lantern to impress you Cause every light in the..