She cooks with lard Loves hot food bars A quart of sweet tea And fried pork skins Can’t get enough Eat still she’s stuffed Goes to the bathroom And then she comes back again She thinks she looks just like madonna When she runs her greasy fingers through her bleached blonde hair Most times she’ll..
A mason jar full of shine, a cd of leann rhimes Is what i bought for our anniversary tonight Now here i stand with my petunias in hand And you’ve got a headache again I hit a yard sale, cut my toenails Trimmed my nose hairs just right I thought you’d be impressed by my..
Cledus at the kitchen table Short of breath, legally disabled Wife walks in, she’s so surprised Can’t believe i’m still alive I say i’m hungry for biscuits and gravy That patty melt that you always made me But i can’t eat that anymore They say grease kills, tastes good to me Day in, day out,..
I told you i’d leave some flares on In case you ever wanted to find my home Ya frowned and said well the darn law should arrest ya Now this old house keeps falling apart So i went down the local walmart And bought this coleman lantern to impress you Cause every light in the..
Sadie, pull this car over. Let me get a can of skoal. Well, we went down to the grundy county auction: The sign said no tobaccer where we sat. My wife told me that i should spit with caution, Or else we’ll all wind up in a big ol’ spat. And i said: “hush your..
Oh gosh, here we go again A fella can’t get no rest around this joint Well, she got up this mornin’ at 6 a.m. She was as grumpy as can be Not a snowballs chance of sleepin’ late ‘cuz she started vacuuming Said: “get your lazy butt up cledus You gotta take me to the..
Tune: it’s a great day to be alive I got my socks drying in the microwave Hair on my back i dont plan to shave I got the house to myself while the wifes away I’ll be rockin all night Yeah i think i’ll drink me an ice cold brew Lounge in my boxers like..