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(50 votes, average: 6.71 out of 10)
Sadie, pull this car over. Let me get a can of skoal. Well, we went down to the grundy county auction: The sign said no tobaccer where we sat. My wife told me that i should spit with caution, Or else we’ll all wind up in a big ol’ spat. And i said: “hush your..
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(19 votes, average: 8.73 out of 10)
Oh gosh, here we go again A fella can’t get no rest around this joint Well, she got up this mornin’ at 6 a.m. She was as grumpy as can be Not a snowballs chance of sleepin’ late ‘cuz she started vacuuming Said: “get your lazy butt up cledus You gotta take me to the..
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(94 votes, average: 8.44 out of 10)
Tune: it’s a great day to be alive I got my socks drying in the microwave Hair on my back i dont plan to shave I got the house to myself while the wifes away I’ll be rockin all night Yeah i think i’ll drink me an ice cold brew Lounge in my boxers like..
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(7 votes, average: 8.14 out of 10)
Well, lordy, mercy, i’s in a mess My wife run off with my tv set Didn’t bother me none that she had to go ‘cept i’s gonna miss all my tv shows So i looked up to heaven, got down on my knees An’ i cried, “dear lord, will you help me, please?” “i need..
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(52 votes, average: 9.53 out of 10)
Let’s get jiggy with it Uh oh My front won’t crank I owe the bank I’m gonna pay em back but right now i can’t My record went gold half a million sold My wallet was fat But i spent all that (all that) Just when i bought Things i couldn’t afford Now uncle sam’s..
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(21 votes, average: 8.70 out of 10)
She cooks with lard Loves hot food bars A quart of sweet tea And fried pork skins Can’t get enough Eat still she’s stuffed Goes to the bathroom And then she comes back again She thinks she looks just like madonna When she runs her greasy fingers through her bleached blonde hair Most times she’ll..
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(93 votes, average: 9.90 out of 10)
A mason jar full of shine, a cd of leann rhimes Is what i bought for our anniversary tonight Now here i stand with my petunias in hand And you’ve got a headache again I hit a yard sale, cut my toenails Trimmed my nose hairs just right I thought you’d be impressed by my..
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